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The Larger Thing.

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May. 8th, 2007 | 10:11 am

Am i tired,
Or just empty?
So far disconnected from that which i call home that i can barely hear the words whispered within the wind, anymore.
My problems don't seem to be THE problem,
But symptoms of the larger thing.

The unnameable, daunting and dangerous, probably deadly
Larger thing.

Are there solutions to problems you can't see?
Are there answers
When you don't know what questions to ask?

And the truth is,
i don't think i really want the surfacey stuff i think i do,
Things like vision, a dream, passion.
Those, i don't think are the goal.
Because my heart, i fear, is pumping its last,
And i need more life breathed into it than that brought by a simple goal or achievement.

i'm sitting here in a chair i've sat in for more than a year.
At a place i've come to regularly for more than a year.
And i'm not sure i care to be here for much longer,
But to be honest i wouldn't know where to go.

i pray myself to sleep at night,
Wishing the answers would bubble up in a dream,
Where it seems i feel the most.

And you can blame the lack of vision, the instability, the porn, the discontentment, the fear
On the lack of vision, the instability, the porn, the discontentment, or the fear, if you want,
But my problems aren't THE problem, i think,
But symptoms of the larger thing.

The unnameable, daunting and dangerous, probably deadly
Larger thing.

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Comments {3}

Shae Sveniker

hey, i know we don't hang out much...

from: shaesinister
date: May. 21st, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC)
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...but i think i know what you feel. consider this: sometimes, you may feel as though you're empty, as though there is no life in you, but you're one of the most alive people i know, because you feel things deeper than most people do, and knowing such staggering hieghts of emotion means that the relatively uneventful times seem stagnant and flat. sometimes, i feel more empty than anyone, but i feel as though it is those times that make me feel the most alive.

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